QUOTABLE QUOTATIONS (Back to Extras)

This section is dedicated to quotes I have said, which have been deemed “quotable” by me. Notice the quotation marks? Not an accident.


“I set my sights on writing the world’s most intelligent boner joke.”

- Robbie Pickard, on his goal in comedy.

“I think the show ‘Tales From the Crypt’ would have been much scarier if it was called ‘Tales From A Crip.’”

- Robbie Pickard, on scary television programming.

“The performance of your fantasy football team is inversely proportional to the amount of sex you have.”

- Robbie Pickard, on fantasy football and sex.

“My dog came into the house today with a present for the family… a log of shit hanging out of her mouth like it was a cigar. Somehow, it still made her look distinguished.”

- Robbie Pickard, on the family’s distinguished canine.

“I don’t get why they’re called fake tits. They give me a real boner.”

- Robbie Pickard, on breasts.

“Every movie these days is based on a novel… I want to write the first novel that’s based on a movie. Get ready for my upcoming book release “Big Momma’s House 2.”

- Robbie Pickard, on edgy novel writing.