Hi, I'm Robbie.
I'm a former nationally touring stand-up comedian, author of the book Toilet Material: Very Short Stories for Very Short Attention Spans, and a pretty nice guy if you'd just give me a chance, okay? I got a little tired of life on the road, so now I write funny things from home (and sometimes from my camper trailer).
I'm also a writer for hire. Are you looking to create advertising that is actually funny? Hit me up and let's work together!

Never have a boring trip to the toilet again.
Toilet Material: Very Short Stories for Very Short Attention Spans, has 38 short stories that deliver big laughs at a rapid-fire pace. One minute you’re in the middle of a conversation between a couple on the night they signed their prenup, and the next, you're in a new conference where a man abducted by aliens is failing to convince news reporters he wasn’t probed while aboard a UFO.
Stop scrolling through the same boring Instagram/Facebook feeds and read some funny short stories on the porcelain throne!
"Such a fun, easy read. Like for children, except don't let children read this."
–Brooks Wheelan
Saturday Night Live
Still confused? That's embarrassing. Try one of these things:

Watch my stand-up.
I spent over 8 years as a nationally-touring comedian—performing at clubs, colleges and casinos in over 15 states, as well as regularly at the World Famous Improv and Laugh Factory comedy clubs in Hollywood.

Read my TV scripts.
I've written a few TV scripts over the years. Some have done well in contests, others gather dust in my desk drawer. I've put a couple up on my site for your viewing pleasure.

Join my newsletter.
About once a month, I send something (hopefully) amusing to my mailing list. I also give subscribers the inside scoop on my latest projects, and offer some discounts and other fun things when I can.