Hi there! thanks for stopping by. i wrote a book of funny short stories, and you can pre-order it right now through my kickstarter campaign.

Toilet Material

This book has 40 short stories that will keep you giggling on the toilet until your legs fall asleep. More detail on my Kickstarter page, but it's got chapters like:

  • My First Gray Hair
  • How Martian Babies Are Made
  • A Play-by-Play Account of the 26 hours and 9 Minutes I Didn't Have My iPhone
  • My First Day in Prison (If I Took My Friend Kevin's Advice)
  • North Dakotan Phone Sex
  • The Only Apology From the Guy That Used This Gas Station Bathroom Before Me That Would Make Sense

i made fun of jared before everyone else did, too.

Did you know that the now infamous Jared Fogle from the Subway commercials used to tour the country performing at colleges? Here's how I imagine what it would be like to be in the crowd for one of his performances.


a free chapter from my upcoming book of short stories

In one of the 40 short stories inside my new book "Toilet Material," a real-life rocket scientist struggles to seal the deal with a woman he met at a bar after a tough day in the laboratory.

Read it now