"Such a fun, easy read. Like for children, except don't let children read this."

–Brooks Wheelan
Saturday Night Live

With Toilet Material: Very Short Stories for Very Short Attention Spans, Robbie Pickard delivers big laughs at a rapid-fire pace–with 38 short stories that change topics with the speed you scroll through your Facebook feed. One minute you’re in the middle of a conversation between a couple on the night they signed their prenup, and the next, a man abducted by aliens is failing to convince news reporters he wasn’t probed while aboard the UFO. 


This book was published through generous donations from my Kickstarter campaign:

Praise for Toilet Material:

“So funny, you'll want to read it when you go number 1.”

–Brian Keith Etheridge

TV Writer - Mike and Molly, The Mick


"If you're constipated, this book provides the perfect amount of belly laughter for that final push."

–Andrew Santino
Showtimes's "I'm Dying Up Here"


“Somehow, Robbie found a way to transfer his devastating likability from the stage to the page.” 

–Robby Slowik
Comedian - Conan


Chapters include:

My First Day in Prison (If I Took My Friend Kevin’s Advice)

Dear Owner of This Bra I Found Dangling in a Tree

How Martian Babies Are Made

Millennial High School Reunions

The Only Apology From the Guy That Used This Gas Station Bathroom Before Me That Would Make Sense

...and 34 more.


Oh, and here's my blooper reel from that Kickstarter video: